No Longer @ Project Spurs

I am no longer writing for Project Spurs. I am going to take a short break from writing while I consider my next move. I have an article presently headlining on Pounding the Rock, if you're bored.... http://www.poundingtherock.com/2009/9/4/1016303/back-to-backs-analysis-should

Montana, The Rock Game

Montana is fairly spectacular.  I visited with five of my fraternity brothers from Dartmouth this past week.  No one lives there.  It is as unpopulated as Alaska, and just as beautiful.  It has been called the last frontier.  We flew into Bozeman and drove an hour to our condo in Big Sky.  While driving we nearly ran into a mountain goat, which we thought was either a bear or a mountain lion until we got close enough to identify it.  This goat was freaking huge.  We hiked eight miles up a mountain the first day.  It was beautiful, but about as bad of an idea as signing Turkoglu.  Four miles straight up a mountain?  I'm 6'3 and weigh 200 pounds; the hike was made for smaller people.  But the views from up there were amazing.  We fly fished the next day, the entire next day.  We were on the Madison River from 9am till 6pm.  Everywhere you looked basically was a postcard.  We were up in the mountains fly fishing, catching the most beautiful rainbow trouts I have ever seen.  

The third day we played The Rock Game.  Now this is a fantastic idea.  Basically, you put a rock on top of an empty beer can and stand about 20 yards away.  Everyone throws rocks at the can and the first to hit the target gets to choose who shotguns the next beer.  The big winner then sets up the next target.  It's brilliant in its simplicity.  As the game progresses, the targets become more intricate and the rules can be tweaked.  The last formation of The Rock Game involved three cans, and if you knocked over one of the cans but failed to knock over all three, you had to shotgun a beer.  J-Rad made the first connection but only knocked over two of the three cans, so he was forced to shotgun.  We killed a 30 within an hour.  You have to be sure to pace yourself because you can easily throw out your arm if you are too aggressive or throw big rocks.  As one of my friends put it, "Professional baseball players throw 100 'rocks' in a day and then get five days off.  So we need to be careful."  The best thing about the rock game is its prerequisites.  All you need is beer and rocks.  And all too often, nature will provide you with half of the supplies.  If swimming backwards can be an olympic sport, I think The Rock Game should be one too.  It involves accuracy, endurance, and tolerance.  What a game.  I challenge each of you to play The Rock Game in the near future.  You're welcome.

Hedo Turkoglu

Here is the thing about Hedo, he really is not that good.  In fact, I am relieved that the Blazers are going to sign him.  To me, this cements their fate of losing in the first round next year.  Now, I realize Hedo made the finals, but I would argue this is a function of every good team missing a player to injury which led to Hedo overachieving on the big stage.  Think about it.  This was really a mediocre finals.  The Celtics were missing Garnett.  We were missing Manu.  Houston was missing half their team and still pushed the eventual champion LA Lakers to seven games.  That's our champion this year?  A team that was pushed to the limit by Brooks, Battier, Artest, Hayes, and Scola?  Seriously?  It sounds like a D-League team.  This year, the healthiest team won the championship, not the best team.  That's why Denver made it to the conference finals.  They really were not that great.  They overachieved because they ran into a Dallas team that was essentially missing Josh Howard.  The healthiest team won.  

Hedo was once a Spur.  We chose not to resign him because it became apparent that the guy was just not that good.  Take a look at his stats.  This past season, arguably his best, he shot 42.8% from the field and 38% from distance.  When you factor in that he is a horrible defender and needs the ball to be effective offensively, he does not help, he hurts.  If Michael Lewis studied him, he would be the anti-Battier.  As a 6'10" two guard, shouldn't he be shooting just under 50% from the field and getting around 8 boards a game?  He plays against guys half a foot shorter than him.  The problem is that Hedo is too slow.  He cannot blow by shorter players because he lacks speed.  This means that he shoots that funky midrange step-back jumper all too often and makes it 40% of the time.  If Dwight Howard had any kind of offensive game or if Rashard Lewis learned how to drive, Hedo takes 5 to 8 fewer shots a game.  Now he is scoring around 12 ppg and that is about where he should be.  

So congratulations on winning the Hedo sweepstakes, Portland.  You just shot yourself in the foot.

Zach Randolph to THE GRIZ!

Yeah, just kidding, who cares?  Zach Randolph is a waste of my time, he belongs on the Griz.  In other news, Mark Cuban and Mike D'Antoni are duking it out for Jason Kidd.  This is fantastic.  Fighting for a 36 year old point guard that could not stay in front of a chair if it had wheels may seem a little strange, because it is a little strange.  I realize that Cuban had his interns skew stats to make Jason Kidd the best player in the league, but even he can't believe that, right?  Cuban's problem is that if Jason Kidd bolts for NYC, he essentially gave away Devin Harris for nothing.  Apparently both teams are offering 3 year deals to Kidd.  So you want to lock this guy down until he hits 39?  Ouch.  What a terrible idea.  That three year deal is three years too long.  Oh, and let us not forget that Jason Kidd is a bad guy.  If you watch enough of those "The NBA Cares" promos you tend to forget that Kidd was arrested for domestic violence in 2001.  His wife called him "A serial abuser and adulterer."  But he's a great leader, no really.  Where are you going?  

In Spurs news, Pitt's DeJuan Blair fell to the second round where we quickly snagged him.  His knees are definitely suspect but he was a steal in the second round.  Think of him as a new-school Malik Rose.  He is undersized at 6'6" but his freakishly long wingspan at 7'1" should allow him to be an effective rebounder for the Spurs.  Currently, we only have Duncan, Bonner, and Mahinmi underneath, so snagging Blair was crucial.  He is exactly what we needed.  In fact, this is what Bill Simmons tweeted right after we drafted Blair.  "DeJuan Blair to the Spurs at 37?  How does shit like this happen?  You're damn right I just swore.  Unbelievable."  I assume the Spurs will sign one more big guy before the season commences, but if we do not I could see Blair starting over Bonner.  That's how crazy this second round draft pick was.  The pieces continue to fall in place for the Spurs, it is looking very good.  As of right now, we arguably have one of the top rosters in the League.  Here is the current circle: Spurs, Celtics, Magic, and the Lakers with the Cavs and Nuggets losing ground.

I just got back from a week in Montana with some of my fraternity brothers.  It was fantastic.  Best line of the trip: My 6'5" Hindu friend was sporting a gold chain.  I was like, "Really, a gold chain, man?"  His response, "Chicks dig it.  I'm a walking hedge against inflation."  I might have to start wearing gold just so I can use that line.

Richard Jefferson

The Spurs traded Bruce Bowen, Kurt Thomas, and Fabricio Oberto for Richard Jefferson.  I just listened to and read everything that ESPN is saying about this trade.  The consensus seems to be that it helps the Spurs, but does not get them over the hump.  The thought is that the Lakers are still, by far, the best team in the West.  This is absurd and here is why.

Richard Jefferson is exactly the type of player that the Spurs lacked last year.  He's athletic, a slasher, a competent defender, and hits close to 40% of his threes.  Last season he averaged 19.6 ppg, 4.6 rpg with 2.4 apg and only 2 turnovers.  He played for the miserable Bucks so one would have to assume that he was not going all out.  He has great size at 6'7", 225 pounds.  He is the missing piece to the Spurs' puzzle.

Yet ESPN analysts claim that the Spurs still do not have enough.  Ridiculous.  Check out our '07 championship winning roster.  We played seven over 20 mpg in the playoffs.  Parker (37.5), Duncan (36.8), Bowen (34.4), Ginobili (30.1), Finley (26.9), Oberto (20.8), and Horry (20).  Now, compare that lineup to the Spurs' '09 lineup.  Parker, Duncan, Ginobili, Jefferson, Mason Jr., Hill, Finley, Big Guy X.  Now answer this question; if that '07 lineup can go all the way why can't this '09 lineup?  Remember, in '07 Finley, Oberto, and Horry were all shadows of the players they once were.  This '09 squad is arguably the best roster the Spurs have ever had.  I'm ecstatic.  All we are lacking is Big Guy X.  Let's just assume the Spurs pick Gooden back up.  Imagine this lineup to close out a game.  Parker, Ginobili, Jefferson, Gooden and Duncan.  Wow, that's an offensive explosion.  Or, what if the opposition goes small?  Not a good idea.  Parker, Mason, Ginobili, Jefferson, and Duncan.  We would have five weapons on the floor.  If you are the opposition, who do you help off of?  What team has five competent defenders that they can put on the floor?  No one can stay in front of Tony.  Duncan will kill single coverage.  Mason, Jefferson, and Ginobili will be deadly from the outside.  My head is spinning.  Spurs fans, we can wave goodbye to all those, "The Spurs have gone 8 minutes without scoring a single field goal" nights.  There will be two prolific scorers on the floor at all times.  The hell with Big Guy X.  We could play 4 on 5 and win with Duncan, Parker, Ginobili, and Jefferson.  No box and one, just box.  

And it sounds like the Spurs are not done trading yet.  I hope they do not touch the big four, Mason, or Hill.  Please let them use Bonner and Finley as trading chips for a big guy.  All we need is a big competent body next to Tim and we have to be considered favorites.  What a day!  (I used an exclamation point, which I generally do not believe in, just to show how exciting this is.)

NBA Notes

The Lakers are soft. Last year they lost to the Celtics and in Game 6 they were pushed around and humiliated. That was supposed to be their motivation to take every game seriously this year. Well, in Game 4 against the Rockets we saw the same performance. The Rockets punched the Lakers in the stomach to begin the game and the Lakers were never competitive. It really comes down to a personnel issue. As much as I dislike Kobe, he does not lack the killer instinct. However, he has aged and cannot completely take over a game as he once did. These days he is capable of taking over a quarter, but only at the expense of the previous one. In other words, if he is going to have a huge fourth quarter, he cannot be aggressive in the third. If he wants to have a huge second half, he has to take it easy in the first half. In this way he is greatly dependent upon his teammates. Unfortunately for him, his teammates lack the killer instinct. No matter how many times you preach toughness, if your players are not tough it will not carry over into a series. The Phoenix Suns preached defense all year, and yet they were one of the worst defensive teams in the league. The Suns personnel were not equipped to defend, just as the Lakers personnel are not equipped to be physical. Pau Gasol is a finesse player out of Spain. Vujachic is a European metro that is at best a pest, not a physical presence. Lamar Odom has had his heart questioned since he came into the league. Dereck Fisher is really the only other Laker that is tough, but age has taken a toll on his ability to impact the game. The interesting question that comes up is, if the Lakers are unable to win a championship this year, is it time to retool? They are arguably the most talented team in the NBA, but if they are not tough enough to win a physical series, then a championship will never be a possibility. With Kobe’s championship window closing, they may be forced to make some serious personnel changes this off-season.

Mark Cuban is the punk. He is reminiscent of a 5-year-old throwing a tantrum. Nothing would make me happier than witnessing Kenyon Martin “take care of him.”

And the Dallas fans made me look bad. I wrote that the Lakers had the most obnoxious fans and then the Dallas fans berate and pour a beer on Kenyon Martin’s mother. You stay classy, Dallas.

Lebron is great, but the East is awful. Detroit had no business making the playoffs. Atlanta had trouble putting away the Heat. The Heat has a hobbled Dwayne Wade surrounded by bush- league rookies. Let’s wait until the Cavs face a real opponent to crown them champions. Unfortunately, we will have to wait for the NBA finals for that to happen. The Magic and Celtics are not much better than the Hawks.

Five Hour Energy drinks are a scam. I’m pretty sure they are successful due to the placebo effect. The real Five Hour Energy drinks are Emergen-C’s. Those little packets rock.

If I had more free time I would create my own basketball statistics, watch every game, and put a number on each player. I realize that there are many subjective variables that can pollute the data, but if this were your fulltime job, I see no reason that you could not come up with a formula that took everything into consideration. Seriously, let’s think specifically about steals. Let’s say that it was asked of us to decide who the best player was in the NBA in terms of steals. If you sat down and tracked every variable, you could give an educated answer, couldn’t you? For example, some stats to take into consideration would be: home vs away (more points for good steals away since it’s more difficult), the height and size of the players on the court, the offensive ratings of the players on the court (if a player is able to steal the ball from a player that rarely turns the ball over, more points), the number of turnovers committed per game by that team (teams that give up more turnovers result in less of a steal,) the number of steals given up by that team, deflections (count as half a steal,) good defensive steals (steals that do not put the team at risk if missed, to be worth more), bad defensive steals (steals that would have placed your team in a quandary if missed, to be worth less), good missed steals (steal attempts that indirectly resulted in a turnover)….etc. If it was your fulltime job to define everything that happened on the basketball court and put a number to it, you could do it, right? These notes took me about five minutes to come up with. It just bothers me when I hear the Rocket’s GM claim that it is so difficult. I bet he’s just playing coy.

Party Planning Committee

So, I am throwing a little birthday party for one of my friends. I have an idea of how I want this thing to run. The thing is, one of my friends wants to throw a wrench into my party by demanding that he cook for everyone. Now, I admit that there is a lot that I am not good at. For example, I know little to nothing about hockey. Since I do not know anything about hockey, I’m not going to give hockey advice to someone that knows a great deal about the sport. In the same way, I know a lot about throwing parties and take offense when someone with a lesser party pedigree attempts to take control of the party. There is an art to throwing parties and subtle decisions can make the difference between a party you can do without, and one that everyone remembers and will be talking about for months.

Here is the thing about serving dinner at a party; nothing good can come of it. Serving dinner means that your party will have to start early, let’s say 6pm. Three things always happen when you start a party early with a meal. Half the guests gorge themselves and are worn out by the time the real party begins. These guests will leave early and this is one of the worst things that can happen to a party. All it takes is one guest to leave early and suddenly it becomes okay for anybody to leave. It’s contagious and can easily snowball into an empty party. The second thing that happens when you start a party early is everyone begins drinking early. The problem here is that some people are lightweights and some people are heavyweights. When lightweights begin drinking at 6, they are useless by 9. Here again, these guests will want to leave early and we have the same problem of the party emptying. There is a third issue that presents itself if you start early. Inevitably, there will be guests that are not free early. These guests will skip the dinner portion of the party and show up later. So when these latecomers arrive, they are met by the useless lightweights and the worn out overeaters.

There are three things that can bring a party to a screeching halt. One, everyone drinks too much too early and when the party should be picking up, it dies down. Two, people are tired and the party never reaches an apex, it simply plateaus and then trails off. Three, the guests' arrival times are varied so the party can never develop a rhythm. This is similar to Gregg Popovich’s horrendous substitution patterns. How many games did Tony make three shots in a row and then get pulled because there were three minutes left in the quarter? The following quarter Pop would finally put Tony back in at the 8 minute mark, but Tony lost his groove and it takes him 4 minutes to get his rhythm back. At this point the Spurs are down by 8 with 4 minutes remaining in the half, and you know how this story ends. Parties are like games. You need the right mix of people, and just as importantly, you need to set the team up to win. The timing of the party needs to be flawless, and this does not happen by accident. By serving a meal to begin a party you are inviting a disaster. I, for one, will not throw a party if food is to be served. It will kill my street cred. And if I lose my street cred, I may have to do something drastic to regain it. Maybe I’ll rob a convenience store and shoot the employee with a BB gun like this guy.