Navy Seals > Pirates

Seriously? How incompetent are these “pirates?” It is really quite baffling when you think about it. In 2003 I made it a point to read any article about pirates that I came across. In the summer of ’03 I attended Semester at Sea. Basically, you sail around the world for a semester and take classes while at sea for college credit. The ship docks at different locations around the world and while docked classes stop and you basically are on your own to explore the country. It was really quite fantastic. My year we sailed to Vancouver, Alaska, Japan, Russia, Fiji, Australia, New Zealand, and Hawaii. While at sea, we would often have pirate drills, similar to fire drills at school, so we knew what to do in case of a pirate attack. The students all had a safe location on the ship to hide and the crew would man water cannons that were located all around the ship for defense. This spiked my curiosity of ‘pirates’ as I was previously unaware that they still existed. So I have kept up with the pirates since ’03 and was hooked when they took over an American ship this past week. The following is a recap of what took place along with my thoughts. The recap will be a summary from the articles I have read from WSJ, NYT, Reuters, Bloomberg, and Breitbart.

About a week ago four pirates armed with pistols and AK-47’s attempted to capture an American vessel. They maneuvered their tiny boat next to the enormous vessel and straight pirate style used ropes with hooks to climb onboard. Once onboard, the pirates realized they were greatly outnumbered by the crew. However, the crew did not possess guns, so advantage pirates. Apparently, there was a scuffle between a few crew members and the Pirate Captain. During this brouhaha, a crew member stabbed the Captain in the hand with an ice pick. The crew members tied the Captain to a chair and thus had a hostage. The American Captain realized that this situation could easily escalate with the three remaining armed pirates still onboard. He decided to give himself to the pirates to avoid violence. So now the pirates have the American Captain and the Americans have the Pirate Captain. The pirates then demanded that the Americans give them one of their life boats. The Americans agreed so now the three pirates and the American Captain were off the main vessel. It was negotiated that the Americans would give the pirates the Pirate Captain back and then the pirates would release the American Captain. So the Americans released the Pirate Captain who rejoined his crew on the life boat. The Americans asked for their captain back and I assume the response from the pirates was something like, “Um, we’re pirates. Lying is a big part of what we do.”

So now the four pirates are on this life boat with the American Captain. The pirates attempted to demand that the crew follow them to the coast of Somalia, but the crew decided that was a bad idea and took off. In this time, the first American Warship arrived on scene and negotiations commenced. The pirates wanted ransom, something in the range of 2 million dollars, for the American Captain. Negotiations carried on for the next several days. During this time, the Captain saw an opportunity to escape and took it. He dove into the ocean and attempted to swim to one of the nearby American Warships. The pirates fired several shots, (it is unclear whether they shot at the Captain or in the air,) at which point the Captain surrendered and was recaptured. This was enough for Barack Obama. He had had it. When this happened, he gave the order for the Navy Seals to intervene if the captain was in “imminent danger.”

During the next four days, two more American War Ships arrived along with War Helicopters. This must have been quite the spectacle. Picture it. Four pirates on a life boat surrounded by three American Warships with War Helicopters buzzing around. So negotiations did not go well for the pirates because apparently they have never seen an American movie. “WE DON”T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS.” We kill terrorists. Yesterday, one of the pirates boarded an American Warship to make their demands clear. Their demands were rejected by the Navy and the pirate became irate. 100 feet away on the life boat, one of the pirates made the unfortunate mistake of pointing his gun at the head of the Captain. This qualified as “imminent danger” so the Navy Seals opened fire. Three shots, three head wounds, game over. The fourth pirate is now in custody. The captain was unharmed.

Now, what were these pirates thinking? That our Navy was going to have 2 million in cash, hand it over to them, and they would be on their merry way? Never to be seen again? Living like kings? What??? What was their best case scenario? Life in prison, most likely. If negotiations had succeeded, this is how it would have played out. The pirates get some money and release the Captain. Once the Captain was safe, the pirates are captured and sent to an American jail. The end. Worst case was they piss our new president off, and he gives the order to take them out. Obama was not about to allow four “pirates” to make a fool out of him in front of the entire world. At some point, one of the four pirates had to have second thoughts, right? Like when the third Warship arrived and there were freaking War Helicopters buzzing all around, he had to start thinking, “Um, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea and we should get the hell off this tiny life boat.”

The other confounding part of this was that they chose the life boat over land. They were docked right off the coast of Somalia. It is well documented that we are not good at finding people in caves. Doesn’t Somalia have caves? Wouldn’t that be your go-to move? Either the four of us can sit in this tiny lifeboat surrounded by three Warships and helicopters, or we can go on land and meet up with our pirate buddies and negotiate from a hard-to-find cave.

I feel like these pirates were just some dudes trying to make a quick buck, and before they knew it they were surrounded by Warships and really had no idea what to do. Somalia is not a place you want to visit. Since the late 80’s, Somalia has been in a civil war. There is no government, no economy, no nothing. If you are in Somalia, and you see these ships passing by constantly, it may make sense to take a chance for some money. Here is where they made the mistake. Stay away from ships flying the American flag. Pick on the French. You know they won’t retaliate. The Americans have been kicking the crap out of Iraq for a decade now because they basically called us names. America is not the nation you want to pick a fight with, especially if you do not have any allies that will have your back. Today the pirates were quoted as saying America is their new number one target. Really? Pirates, you have no chance. We will send a few ships over, a few troops, a few helicopters, and dominate your existence for the next decade. Here is some advice. Forget this happened. Apologize to the U.S. and then continue picking on the French. That’s what I’d do, anyway. You got a good thing going with your throwback pirate business. Don’t mess it up by picking a fight you do not have a chance at winning.

Quick Spurs Update
We can beat the Blazers in a series. We want the four or five spot. Four would obviously be preferable, but five would be better than the three spot. It looks like New Orleans will be in the sixth spot, and we do not match up well with them. Also, I really hope we play the Lakers in the second round. If we win, fantastic. If we lose, well that’s the best team in the West and we are injured. Worst case scenario would be meeting the Lakers in the Conference Finals and getting stomped. If we are going to get stomped, let’s hope it’s in the second round so our guys get an extended off-season to recuperate.